Love Hurts.....

Friday, April 30, 2010
What do I know bout love...?
At times, it feels as if I dont know a thing.... but many do know that Ive been in love with another creature of God... Once upon a time ago....
I was young then, still blur, still innocent but yet it lasted for many years...so many might think its all puppy love.... nothing real, but to tell u the truth it did mean something....at least to me

U see in life... especially when we are feeling at the lowest point of life we go looking for unattainable love... we search for our meaning and our purpose on this earth
some of us are very lucky that we manage to find what we were looking for.... which was TRUE LOVE


Some of us... end up along the wrong path of life which ultimately causes even more pain
Some of us...we just forgot how to love....
Some of us...end up loving a lie
Some of us might have found the ONE but the obstacles faced was too hard or too extreme for us to handle so we let that ONE relationship go....
SOme of us just fell in Love with the wrong person n eventually got our hearts battered with stone n just gave up on love all together.....

some of us....are still searching...

Some of us are just scared to fall in love... n let ourselves be loved....



But no matter what or which category we fall in to... that One solemn word will always en captivate our emotions regardless of who we are.... My quote from a famous author... "love knows no boundary"... n it is love that transcends all racial and religious background....

So it is not a mystery why "people do stupid things when they are in love.."


Well to me... Love is beautiful... it brings 2 souls together with their vows of a life promising to share, to hold, in sickness n in health, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor and so on and so forth...

BUT LOVE HURTS....
it hurts the very being of ure core and it can tear u apart within seconds...

and it only hurts most when ure alone thinking bout the cause and effect of ure situation....


I know many of us have had a Heartbreak... at least once in ure life... it wasnt easy was it??!!
well it wasnt easy for me either... I never knew how bad it could hurt and how it still effects me (Im very proud to say less compared to before) NOW...even after all this time....

And when u start reading this post... "ure probably thinking...yep im just gonna end up telling u the drama of how love sux... how i swear ill never LOVE again...!"

I could do that... I could continue writing the most obnoxious sentence telling the world how much I cant even comprehend how I hate the word LoVE~!


BUT I WONT...
BECAUSE THAT OLD ME IS NOT THE NEW ME...


I WANT TO SHARE WITH U WHAT I FEEL TO ME... PERSONALLY >> WHAT TRUE LOVE IS ALL ABOUT..???

1st - Love the relationship God has given between u and HIM(THE CREATOR OF THE HEAVENS N THE EARTH)... If u can not love HIM to ure upmost ability than u can never truly love.... In fact Loving HIM is far beautiful than loving ANY LIVING CREATURE ON THIS PLANET... because U know for a fact that HE will NEVER LEAVE....

He is always there to Guide u through rainy days and cloudy mornings....

He is always there when U think Ure alone...

He is there to Mend ure heart even when uve come to a point where u think its unfixable...

He is ALWAYS there... He is what TRUE love is.... and there is NO "Being" on this earth that can love u the way He does....


SO when u think of loosing hope, when u think ure hurt so bad u can never get up, when u think that it is the end of the road for you.... Think Again... because its not....

He takes away what is bad for u and replace it with something Good...

He gives u a moment of grief because He misses ure praying voice....

For each Tear u cry to or for HIM... He will gladly take them away and replace it with a peaceful heart....

So yearn for His Love and He will grant you the best in both worlds.... U just have to be strong to go through life's roller coaster ride...


2nd... Loving Yourself....

So basically... we always say... LOVE URESELF~!! but do we really do it...??? when we talk bout loving ourselves... what do we mean...?

Sometimes... we just forgot how to love ourselves... in the long run, we will continuously hurt ourself in return....

I guess from experience....loving ureself is the most hardest thing to do.... (I believe most of us can agree on this level..)

But its not impossible.... Love ureself means respect ureself... respect every single inch of that body of yours and dont let people tell u that u are not worth it....



u are your own worse critic~!....


I am to myself actually... to tell u the truth I never really believed that I was beautiful.... I always felt like a giant mongrel with crazy hair... the self pitty I put myself in by telling myself "Im not pretty" made it worse when my self-esteem level was at its lowest...

from being able to mingle with the outside world... I bounded myself to the four brick walls of my room... which was very unhealthy....it led me to have Depression a MAJOR ONE(yet not everybody knew bout this)... I contemplated on not living.... I wasnt suicidal I just gave up on the beautiful things in life.... I forgot how to take care of myself.... I struggled to maintain class schedule, so I was apparently absent most of the time from classes or lectures... which ultimately led me to fail one of my posting during my 4th year....

SO, as u can see... I lost a lot... just because I didnt have the guts to tell myself

IM WORTH IT~!
IM BEAUTIFUL~!
I DESERVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE~!

If I took time to love myself enough, I woudnt have been in that predicament... I woudnt have fallen so low that I felt so trapped in my own dark world....

And the only way I got out... without going crazy was through the Verbatim WORDS of God (reciting the Quran, learning the meaning behind The melodic sentence of each Quranic Verses gave me unimaginable strength and an Insane spirit boosting me out from my toxic world)....

yet again... The Love of God.... He created a world where by U mattered~! so it is NOT OKAY for You to Not Love ure self~!!!!!!... AGAIN.... love ureself....

3rd - Loving those who are IMPORTANT in your life.....N....learning to love another.....

family is the second most important people in ure life after ureself....
To me family does not just mean... a mother, a father... sister, brother... aunts or uncles....u dont have to be blood related to be family...

Family are the ones who lifts u up when ure down, who cradles u from birth till Now... who accepts u through all the good and the bad, who embodies u with love and care no matter where u are or what u do in life... they look at for what u are and loves u for who u are....

My family includes my mother who is my rock..... my dad who is my hero... my sister who shows me what inner beauty is all about.... my brother who is my teacher in life....my adorable cat who is my comfort... and my beautiful girlfriends who are my sisters, each on very much important in my life...

By having them... I know better how a hearts can propel itself to sincerely love without expecting anything in return.... Now thats true love~!

This last chapter of my post took me 3 days... not that i had no idea on what to write...

I just didnt know whether I could come to terms to actually writing what Im about to write....

Learning to Love another....

2 be continued....

My silver lining....

Thursday, April 8, 2010
Have u ever asked ureself... WHat is it that makes us propel ourselves to be better in this life?

Is it the lucrative amount of cash...?
Is it the most fancy house located on the most expensive roadside...?
Is it that dream car uve been oozzing ure eyes out for.....?
Is it that "hot" girl uve been dying to date....?
Is it that scroll that holds ure future in ure hands...?

DO all these lucrative worldly things move u to work harder and better.... ?

Some of us, were born rich.... and we were put high the ranks of society... so money has never been an issue.... but I bet there is still that expectation for u to perform better in so many ways... creating a bruised ego if u cant reach that high...

Some of us were born poor.... but pushed our way to the top because we knew we wanted to change..... but what was the initially booster that pushed us to change...?... again, is it the status and the money with the fancy things in life...?

honestly speaking...

yes... fancy cars, money that can buy all ure hearts desires, villas and mansions, the most beautiful girlfriend or wife.... all of them are very tempting.... especially when it comes to worldly ordeals..... but once u have all these in ure hands...

will it ever be enough >?
will it ever make u happy>?

To me... my concept of happiness, has changed.... and inevitably so has I....

Not many can accept change.... and not many can look at it as a good thing....
so its not easy to change when u are surrounded by people who are unwilling to let go of ure past...

but lets not go into that...

my main concern is happiness....

I feel happy, when I am at peace with myself n my heart....
I am happy when I finally realised my ultimate purpose in life.... n thats one thing people search their entire life for and for God to lead me back on track... Im Ever So Grateful.....

Ive never felt so much calmness in my heart before than Ive ever felt in my life....

Inside I know that for each given day... my sole purpose in life is to Serve Him to the best of my ability... and by doing sincere acts to solely please Him......n NO ONE ELSE.....

Knowing everyday that No other are as important as Him... and knowing that No one can really push u like He does....

I used to search for answers, I used to be so confused bout my own religion, and I kept asking Him ...."God, show me the Way..."

and even when i thought of how insignificant I was.... There He was,.... with me every step of the way.....

I guess if u were to ask me... why I changed? I woudnt have a specific answer.....it just felt right...n I needed to feel right again.... By understanding my purpose in life.... I understood why I needed to change.... n Ive never turned back...

But why Ive made it this far.... that I have an answer for.....

Simple.... God's Grace n Mercy.....

So for every dark cloud in ure life.... take a breather n look around u.... take a moment to ask ureself this question...? with all that I have in life...? Is it enough to make me happy....? once uve correctly answered that pivotal question.....

uve ultimately found ure silver lining.......