Sacrifices

09.09.09 - triple 9 day
Today, would be a great day for couples to say their vows of eternal love and live "happily ever after", and we would see in the papers the next day photos of wedded couples lining up in their effervesces manner hoping that their wedding picture gets into the newspaper... honestly, I would want to even dream of sharing my wedding day with other couples... its my day... but lets not dig deep in to this feeble matter( its not like im getting married any time soon)

Okay is not about marriages or whatever nonsense people do to get attention on dates like these...

Im talking about Human sacrifice.... What sacrifices we do to help make this world a better place.

Im talking about the sacrifices I make so that a little change can be brought to others even to an expense of my heart...

Im sacrificing my time with my family, with my close friends to be here in this "PLACE" ive been calling home for the past 5 years.... Ure damn right... I miss my family and friends back home... but I guess studying to be a better medical student is way more important than flyin back home... but I wouldnt make such a big deal out of this... I know others are going through alot worst.....

Im sacrificing my relationship prospects with other men... I dont date, I dont got out with guys, I dont even have a mutual relationship with any guy.... call me boring, but hey, i dont even have time for my family let alone for men... plus being a bad relationship now is not good for my inner soul, and to top off the icing on the cake, i get irritated with most of them anyway so I dont know why Im accepting this part of my life as a sacrifice....

Im sacrificing quality "me" time.... I use to paint, I use to lock ,myself in my study room at home and blast off the sterio loudly and spend quality time painting....I loved to see how the colours blend even so, Im not a good painter... I miss those time where I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted....

I look at my past and my present... alot has changed... Im no longer that girl with the messy hair, Im no longer that girl who pretends to be blur, Im no longer that girl who shys away....

The sacrifices Ive made so far, are very minute, sometimes I feel like I shoudnt even call them sacrifices but it is these lilltle sacrifices I made that created the "me" now.

Im terribly home striken right now, I miss mummy and the entire family, I miss fifimanj and I do miss my bed(my very luxious bed) at home....

I always ask myself is this what I really want in life... to be something and ending up with nothing...